I DO WHAT I LOVE. I DOULA.

As a child, most of us fantasized about what we would be when we grew up, even going as far as acting it out in play. I can't remember wanting to be a firefighter, police officer, or even a ballerina, but I do remember the way my heart felt when I played with my favorite doll. My mother had crochet me this doll that had braided arms and legs and red yarn for hair to match my own. When I played with her, I recall having such emotion well up inside me, genuine love and concern for her. I knew that one-day people would think I was too old to play with dolls and I distinctly remember crying because it meant I would have to let her go and I couldn't imagine ever being ready to do that. At that moment, I knew that when I grew up, I wanted to take care of babies and children.

Of course, few of us are brave enough to do the thing we thought we wanted to grow up and be. I didn't for my first seven years in the workforce. I had an education in Graphic Arts, though while attending a Technical High School, I wanted to take classes in Early Childhood Education.  But a part of me also wanted to pursue my creative, artistic side. So after finishing high school, I found work in sales and marketing. I thought that I would eventually learn to grow into the job, but I wasn't happy. So, when the company I worked for announced it had filed for cheaper 11 and I made the third round of layoffs before the company closed, I told my husband I wanted to work with children.

I started as a Nanny with an autistic 2-year-old. I felt ill-equipped to fill the role he needed, but I put my all into learning and working with therapists and doctors. For the next 18 years, I worked with a handful of families, mostly as they were welcoming their newborn. My personality is described as nurturing, warm, gentle, and as one who cares for children with a sense of humor. But, as I worked with moms in the postpartum period, I started learning of difficulties they had with breastfeeding and all the questions they had about their new baby and what was normal and what wasn't. I realized how much I still needed to learn. I put my all into researching and reading, attending trainings and workshops, and doing my best to help, even if it meant I only filled the role of emotionally supporting the mother. As the years went by, I was content. Families trusted me to be part of their parenting team, and I helped nurture and raise some fantastic children. But still, I felt drawn to and wanted to learn all I could about newborns and how to support new mothers. I had to figure out how to be brave enough to finally do the thing I had been passionate about since I was a little girl.

I have been very fortunate to have met women along the way who helped me figure out how to pursue my passion. Being trained by people who have successfully nurtured and cared for both mother and baby, gave me the needed courage to trust in my abilities to do so from the heart. When I work with new families as their Postpartum Doula, I'm genuinely moved by how humbling it feels to work alongside parents at a most vulnerable time. I get to see the good, the bad, and the frustrating situations that make up the beautiful journey called parenthood. Not just the joy of being able to nurture and care for mothers as they are born into their new role, but encouraging fathers to father with emotion and trust their instinct and to know their needs will be met during this time. They look to me for gentle guidance and reassurance as they face transitions together. Sometimes they need to cry in my arms and get affirmation that they are doing a great job. I get to educate parents about their babies and confidently support them as they make decisions on how they will care for their children. And I love that I get to give them what they need.

As I just finished gazing into the sweet eyes of a newborn I'm helping to care for, having swaddled her in her crib for the night, my heart pulled at me a little. I feel such gratitude for this thing I get to do. Grateful and humbled that people value and trust me. The memory of my crocheted doll resurfaced, and I allow feelings I had for her wash over me, and it made me realize that I kept a promise to myself to do what I love. I’m so proud of myself for being brave and trusting my instinct. My sincere intent is to leave a little bit of my heart with these families, having orchestrated and created opportunities that enabled couples to grow together in their new roles and help families build bonds that will last their lifetime.